Sunday, 17 May 2015
Mental Author Feature #2 - Jan Emslie
The Monster The Mentalpause and Me
by Jan Emslie
The Monster, The Mentalpause and Me is a satirical look at the life of 52-year-old Molly McIntosh, a third stage Mentalpausal, with a bitter and twisted womb. She has to contend with spontaneous facial hair growth, forgetfulness, and the Wicked Witch of the East-rogen occupying her guest bedroom…her mother-in-law, AKA ‘The Monster’.
Molly’s patience is tested on a daily basis as she pits her wits against her scheming nemesis, Annabel Lextor.
Molly’s newly retired Mr. Husband seems oblivious to his mother’s malevolent ways, as Molly struggles on, dealing with obnoxious neighbours, crazy work colleagues, and deranged octogenarians.
The book spans a hilarious year in Molly’s life. Ending with the realisation that one of Monster’s husbands might not in fact be dead.
I’m a former accident and emergency nurse who went back to a university as a mature student to study Psychology. I also ran kitten adoption in Dublin for ten years and was actively involved in animal welfare in Ireland. Remember "It's cuter to neuter."
Currently, I live in the Granada area of Spain with my own long-suffering Mr. Husband of 30 ODD! years. Eight rescue dogs and eight cats. Including the 28-year-old GRUMPY cat Alice.
"How did the Monster The Mentalpause and Me come about Jan?" People are asking me ....Well, I accidentally wrote the book! Then I also accidentally bought a cow at a market some years back, so that shouldn't come as a surprise to those who know me.
"What's it all about?"
It's in the genre of the "Sweaty, puffy, hormonal stuffy AKA The Menopause and also known by its more descriptive moniker: 'The Mentalpause.' That's where you leave your brain at....Well, leave it where ever you wish because you are going to forget where you put it anyway, along with keys, a chicken, and a very nice Spanish exchange student called Raul!
The accidental book came from my Facebook page uncannily called The Mentalpause where it evolved, when I started to write about the daily trials and tribulations of a pastry dependent, 50 something-year-old 'GAL' and her Mother-in-Law ..The Monster. Egged on by my fantastic Mentalpauser's. Uncannily similar to my own life, I avoided a lawsuit for libel by changing my name to Molly in the book.(Joke). Mr. Husband is Mr. Husband.
I'm fond of animals but not that fond of people, which was a drawback as a clinical psychologist. I spent most of my time plotting revengeful ways to dispatch my patients, so I had more time to eat cake and put bows on kittens. Luckily my patients were very naughty people who were locked securely up for the good of society.
Then I decreed there was not enough laughter in the world, so joined up all the short stories "What I wrote." And the end product, once it had a cover, resembled a book. People said it made them laugh and pee~pee their pants a little, and that was good enough for me.
Oh! I also have the ability not to take life too seriously and have a good laugh, mainly at myself. THE END....Or is it? I am currently working on the second book in the series. Molly's gone Mentalpausal.