Mental Pause - Chapter 5 (excerpt)

Sorry for the delay in sharing an excerpt from Chapter 5... it's been a crazy week! Having some fun putting the last plans into place for the launch on March 8. I can't believe it's almost February.  As soon as we've uploaded to Amazon I'm sure there will be the opportunity for pre-orders but if you want a reminder, just send me a note from my website and I'll let you know when it's up.

Mental Pause - Chapter 5 (excerpt):

She turned around and closed the door quietly behind her as she felt the tears welling up in her eyes. You give your heart and soul for 17 years for what… for them to leave you. Abbie knew she should be happy for them. They had both gotten into good schools on scholarships. Winston was going to Penn State and Trevor would be a little closer to home at the University of Massachusetts. It was still two hours away so he would have to live on campus. She was so proud of them but it wasn’t fair, was it? What was she going to do? No one needed her anymore. They hadn’t even noticed her new haircut. Of course they hadn’t noticed five years ago when she started dying her hair blonde either. Conrad had made a passing comment about being married to a ‘new woman’ but hadn’t really made a big deal of it. Men!

She shuffled into the kitchen, opened the freezer, grabbed a hot pocket and tossed it in the microwave then grabbed a beer from the fridge. Real healthy Abbie. She scolded herself. The hell with it. She threw in a second one and took a couple of swigs of beer while she waited for her supper to heat. She put her feast on a plate and padded into the living room, curled up on the couch and switched on the TV while tears coursed down her cheeks.

I’m definitely losing it. I’ve had a great day with two amazing friends, helped raise boatloads of money for a charity I feel very passionate about, had an afternoon of pampering, yet I’m blubbering like an idiot. She couldn’t find anything worth watching and couldn’t seem to shake her malaise. So, she downed the rest of her beer, stretched out on the couch, pulled up the patchwork quilt her mom had made her from all her favorite t-shirts she had collected over the years, and fell into a deep sleep.

It was shortly after one o’clock in the morning when Conrad came in from work. He gently shook Abbie’s shoulder to wake her and she slowly opened her eyes and sat up.

            He sat down beside her on the couch. “Who’s drinking the beer?”

            “I am… it’s no big deal,” Abbie said defensively, her hackles immediately raising.

            “I didn’t say it was a big deal. It’s just you never drink beer. How was your day?”

            “It was fine,” Abbie said glumly.

            “Doesn’t sound fine. What’s up?”

            “I don’t know. I just feel so on edge all the time and I can’t stop crying at every little thing. The boys had taken care of themselves for dinner tonight and I couldn’t help thinking they don’t need me any more.”

            “Don’t be so silly. Of course they need you. We need you. Maybe your hormones are just a little out of whack. Didn’t your doctor suggest you try some type of hormone replacement thingy?”

            Abbie felt her adrenalin spike, shocking her still sleepy head.  She pushed him away and jumped up from the couch. “See, that’s part of the trouble,” she shrieked. “Just because you’ve arrived at the solution doesn’t mean it’s the right thing for me!” She heard her voice becoming hysterical but couldn’t stop. “I don’t want to take pills. I just want this to go away,” she felt the anxiety rising in her throat and sent Conrad a scathing look.

Stunned, Conrad said nothing as she spun around and stomped up the stairs to their bedroom, slamming the door. She threw herself on the bed and sobbed uncontrollably.

He followed her into the bedroom and tried to take her in his arms. “GO AWAY!” She was inconsolable.